Monday, January 27, 2020

Computer Interface for a Freight Elevator

This is a puzzle that I used in one of my Mothership games and I thought some other Wardens might find it useful.

The computer terminal is perched at the edge of a rusty, ancient, planet-side freight elevator. It is a tiny terminal with two big chunky buttons and a tiny screen.
At boot up, the tiny screen shows four options, with a blinking icon hovering over the first. The players will quickly learn that the left button SCROLLS OPTION and the right button SELECTS OPTION.
  • Elevator operations
  • Updates
  • History
  • Customs
After being selected, the screen gives a different set of options, with the following effects if selected:

Elevator Operations:
  • Up: moves elevator up one level at a sluggish pace. If at top of elevator, does nothing
  • Down: moves elevator down one level at a slightly less sluggish pace. If at the bottom, does nothing.
  • Updates available: brings user to the following screen:
  • Update system?
    • Yes: crashes the entire system beyond repair
    • No, later: returns to main options list

This section is up to the Warden's discretion, as appropriate for their home game.

  • Source Sans Pro.regular
  • Bankgothic.regular
  • 楷体
  • 微软雅黑
Selecting any of these options changes the system font and returns to the home screen.

Tuesday, September 3, 2019

Mountaineers, Mercenaries, and Madmen

To create a mountaineer fit for their first expedition, do the following:

1. Roll 2d6+3 for each Ability Score.
Athletics: Strength, speed, flexibility, and precision
Fortitude: Health, size, resistance to bodily harm
Willpower: Personality, determination, and resistance to psychological harm

2. Roll 1d6 for Hit Points.

3. Choose a Background.
Explorer: Advantage to all climb saves
Guide: Advantage to all weather saves
Porter: +4 equipment slots
Scholar: Ability to memorize spells
Financier: Produce 1d6x100 silver over a long rest; multiply starting silver by 10

4. Record your Starting Package; determined by your Background and Hit Points.
1hp: Hatchet (d6) Flare gun (d6) Fine climbing boots, Sense nearby unearhtly beings
2hp: Sabre (d6) Musket (d8), Grappling hook, Climbing kit
3hp: Club (d6) Pistol (d6) Tent, Treated leather gloves
4hp: Sword & dagger (d8) Flashbang, Crowbar, 20' rope
5hp: Whip (d6) Lockpicks, Writing set
6hp: Pistol (d6) Shovel, Debt (3g)

1hp: Knife (d6) Longbow (d8) Hawk, Never surprised
2hp: Hatchet (d6) Rifle (d8) Compass, Hunting dog
3hp: Rifle (d8) Animal trap, Poison, Oiled leather coat
4hp: Knife (d6) Tent, Spyglass, Gin
5hp: Bow (d6) Antitoxin, Cook kit, Fiddle
6hp: Walking stick (d6) Lantern, Disfigured

1hp: Rifle (d8) Knife (d6), Yurt, Mountain dog with telepathic link
2hp: Pistol brace (d8) Club (d6) Crowbar, Llama
3hp: Musket (d8) 10-foot pole, Lantern, Herding dog
4hp: Longaxe (d8) Tent, Manacles, Accordion
5hp: Pistol (d6) Hacksaw, Cook kit, Fine climbing boots
6hp: Club (d6) Canary, Mute

1hp: Cane (d6) 3 bombs, Treated leather gloves, Telepathy if target fails a Willpower save
2hp: Pistol brace (d8) Acid, Magnifying glass, Pocket-watch
3hp: Throwing knives (d6) Fire oil, Thermometer, Compass
4hp: Pistol (d6) Marbles, Ferret, Rum
5hp: Cane (d6) Flute, Mirror, Writing set
6hp: Rifle (d8) Smoke-bomb, fugitive

1hp: Dueling Pistol (d8) Knife (d6) Ancestral breastplate (Armour 1), Cryptic yet prophetic dreams
2hp: Rapier (d8) Pistol (d6) Oiled leather coat, Lighter boy
3hp: Pistol (d6) Garrote (d6) Mirror, Poison
4hp: Sabre (d6) Marbles, Steel wire, Spyglass
5hp: Cane (d6) Pocket-watch, Perfume, Ether
6hp: Elegant Knife (d6) Cigars, Illiterate

Most Mountaineers can carry 8 pieces of Equipment. Porters can carry 12.

New Mountaineers also start with a Wool sweater, Undershirt, Wool socks, Garters, Linen trousers, Winter boots, Leather gloves, a Mess kit, and 3d6 silver; all of which is considered unencumbering.

5. Record your Climbing and Weather saves (see Equipment for any bonuses).

The road ahead is fraught with peril. With ice-pick, grapple, sword, and spell, you've assembled a humble crew in an attempt to ascend that wretched mountain. You are now ready to go on your first Expedition.

Thursday, July 18, 2019


300 years after the Great Procession, the Chynar Authority realized that their colony maps were sloppy and based on bad intel. The steppelands of Uzubek held more nuance than the Imperial eye had originally discerned.
In 513 IE, the Chynar Authority funds the Great Trigonometrical Survey, spearheaded by Katzi Chango, a former Imperial General and surveyor. After 18 gruelling months, Chango finally begins cataloging the so-called Perfidious Peaks. It would be another 6 years before he would finish his survey.
Chango eventually sends word of the significance and magnitude of the Colossal Three, and shortly thereafter confirms one as the tallest peak in the world. Dubs it Mount Eternakill.
The name entices great explorers and mountaineers of the world. The highest peak, brushing the heavens, was simply too sweet of bait for those poor fools.
In 519 IE, retired soldier and mountaineer Shep Ziol Jr. embarks on the legendary Eternakill Reconnaissance Expedition to map potential routes to summit the mountain. The race to the top of the earth begins in earnest.

The natives of Uzubek became slowly accustomed to Imperial Adventurists. The Bukhars and Shaymars knew what Imperial military might had done to the lowlanders, but local traders believed that these explorers were nothing more than a harmless nuisance. Many guides, porters, and mystics of the trade-towns found themselves in a position to profit from ignorant Imperials.
The Omok, Kharzir, and other highland nomads found little reason to allow Imperials to encroach on their mountains, even if it was just for sport.
No matter their opinion on the foreigners, most natives new, or at least suspected what truly waited for those naive enough to enter the Tombs of the Gods.

The year is 522 IE. Since the establishment of Base Camp 1, 51 world-class mountaineers have visited in an attempt to summit Eternakill. There have been 32 reported deaths. 8 by falling, 6 by avalanche, 4 by exposure, 3 by altitude sickness, 3 by murder, 2 by heart attack, 2 by suicide, and 4 unknown or unexplained. Another 11 mountaineers are currently listed as M.I.A.
Of the 8 known survivors only Shep Ziol Jr. and Barukho Bram remain at Base Camp 1. Despite a furious letter-writing campaign, I was unable to contact any of the remaining survivors, although I've heard rumours of many returning to their homelands with extreme nervousness and strange maladies.

It is for this reason that tomorrow I set off for Base Camp 1, for my research has exhausted all resources attainable from the comfort of a library. I expect to face much trial and tribulation, but perhaps with a bit of luck I shall speak with the legend Shep Ziol Jr. himself and see if the whispers of porters and guides are true. Oh, to see the Throne of Gods with my own eyes! I hear the Mountain's Siren Song clearly in my mind! Though the thought of reaching the mountain is awe-inspiring, I must retain clarity of thought and keep my hubris in check.
There's a poem, an ancient Omok herding tune, that I've found comfort in reciting over the last few days of travel preparations. Though I expect the translation to Imperial Chynar is quite barbaric, it is nonetheless a necessary reminder of the peril that waits for me in the Perfidious Peaks:

The God Sleepeth, and Shall Remain
Unto the Winter Storms Do Cease
In Shadow'd Die, the Dreamer Grows
Ensures the Winter Storms Do Feast

-Percelium Kyodar, MP

MEGAMOUNTAIN DEATHCRAWL is something I've been quietly working on for a while.

It's an inverted dungeon crawl. A pathcrawl up the giant, treacherous, fantastic, and horrible Mount Eternakill.
Inspired by early mountaineering, the golden age of exploration, and the first Antarctic and Everest expeditions.
Expect avalanches, lonely cave trolls, living icicles, snowstorms, sensual heat-seekers, and for your friends to freeze to death.
Expect grueling climbs and perilous paths. Strange factions, sabatoge, and icy elixirs.

Thanks for reading!
(more to come soon)

Tuesday, November 20, 2018


My players just wrapped up A Thousand Dead Babies by Zzarchov Kowolski and are eager to get to Boston (England).

I should really write up my players' time at the village of Corroc; they got a lot of great gameplay out of that small adventure and I would highly recommend it!

In preparation for their first trip to a city proper, I wrote up a d20 city encounters table with some help from the folks over at the LotFP Discord channel. I plan on rolling one of these automatically whenever the players return to Boston, and on a 2/6 any time they are traveling from one spot to another within the city. A lot of these encounters hint at larger conspiracies, adventures, and opportunities lingering just below the city's surface.

To be fair (and avoid persecution from the history buffs) 17th Century Boston only had a population of about 3,000; but I still wanna give it city vibes. London will be a different monster. I'm likely going to be sourcing much inspiration for London from Skerples's Magical-Industrial Revolution.

(players pls turn back here if u are reading)

Anyway, without further ado;


Initial Impressions:
-Stench of sewage, sea water, baked goods
-Cobblestone buildings stacked high
-Industrial smog filling the sky
-Busybody law men strolling through parting crowds
-Rats scurrying in packs through side streets
-Pamphleteers distributing their papers
-Filthy day-laborers returning home & coughing up bile

1. Lost
2. Lost
3. Lost
4. Bran Linklighter, notorious Legalist, being defenstrated by a group of disgruntled merchants.
5. Getting fined for dressing like a fancy lad/not dressing fancy enough.
6. Group of onlookers gather round as gamblers throw down pots of coin at a fighting pit featuring:
      1. A pugilist from the docks and a foreign cut-throat
      2. A mangy scottish wildcat and a pitbull
      3. An aggressive cock and a scrappy orphan
      4. Two scrappy orphans with broken glass bottles and a wild boar
      5. A teenage boy and a chimpanzee
      6. A bloodhound and 4 cocks
7. Military parade closes off a street
8. Market dispute turns in to a riot
9. Jeffrey & Johanna Meechum; Parlimant's "City Troops" stripping, searching, & questioning anyone who looks dangerous along with 1d6 other gurads
10. Quack Doctor Antony Throckmorton selling aphrodisiacs and leech treatments
11. Local pamphleteer and muckraker Stetson Branberry distributing incredibly vulgar satire on local elites
12. Father Edmund Atley giving a fire-breathing sermon recounting the King's many misdeeds
13. Maybel papley, a young pickpocket looking for a mark
14. George Fox and the Society of Friends preaching from a soapbox. 2d6 Parliament City Troops will arrive in one turn
15. Alabaster Hooke vigorously recruiting for the Chastised Devoted
16. A dog with two faces approaches the party & dies
17. A shipment of Stilton Cheese is immediately swarmed by lawyers, nobles, bohemians, & thieves
18. A small group of Puritan women, led by Joyce Oxenbrigg decry the morally reprehensible Cavaliers, blaming them for the blight on their city
19. A flirtatious dilettante, eager for stories from adventurous commoners
20. Lt. Francis Caron, recruting under Lord Baron's Banner for the parliamentary cause. Level 2 Fighter. +Level 1 Cleric and 6 Level 0 recruits

Note: I plan on removing one of the "Lost" encounters after every week spent in the city and replace them with whatever makes sense based on the PC's actions and interactions thus far.

Well there you have it! I don't know if anybody else will get use out of this but at least now it's here for easy reference for myself. Thanks!

Wednesday, October 31, 2018


Death is a funny thing in tabletop RPGs. As the perpetual GM, it was quite some time before I had my first character death. Steven was running Curse of Strahd with 5th Edition, and we had a TPK in the Bonegrinder. It was brutal and horrifying. We were Level 3.

However, after coming back and leveling up, I noticed for the most part, death in 5th edition is pretty underwhelming.

Now I don't want to beat a dead horse with the "Character death is a GOOD thing" spiel, it's not even the point of this post, really.

My main issue with 5th Edition is how the death mechanics work. There's many random saving throws, little actual tension, and next to zero long-term consequences. I like adventurers with eye patches and missing limbs.

Which is why I was thrilled when I stumbled upon the treasure trove of Death & Dismemberment tables. I like them a lot! Death & Dismemberment rules engage the characters and the fiction in a great way.

I was using David's D&D tables for my LotFP home game for a while, but sometimes it was a little too random for my taste. When my squishy magic user got "Severed Limb" from taking 1hp of damage from a small, rabid dog; well it just didn't sit right with me. I yearned for something a little less random.

Which led me to Emmy's rules for Horrible Wounds. I love the way the effects scale by how much damage is done to you, but they were a little too involved for my taste. So like with most things, I decided to homebrew some Death and Dying mechanics. They are similar to Emmy's in some ways, but unlike Emmy's my rules aren't divided up by damage types. I wanted some descriptions and mechanics that allowed me to customize the wound on the fly based on the type of damage present in the fiction. I feel that these rules are robust and simple! Let me know what you think.

(note: I run Saving Throws the same way Skills are done in LotFP, based on an x/6 chance and risky casting is per the new Magic rules for LotFP)


When you hit 0 hp make a Fortitude Save.
If you fail, compare the total damage taken to the corresponding entry on the table.
If you succeed you are alive and conscious, but doing anything other than lying still or moving slowly will likely trigger another Fortitude Save. A successful medicine check will stabilize you at 1hp, as will appropriate healing magicks.
You may continue acting at 0hp until a save fails; in which case roll 1d4 on the Critical Damage table.

1-2: Ouch. This is gonna hurt for a while. You're conscious, but in a lot of pain. After taking a turn to refocus and catch your breath, you stabilize at 1hp. Skills and Saves are 1/6 for the next 1d4 turns.

3-4: Out cold. You're no longer conscious due to shock. Once roused, you return to 1hp. Skills and Saves are 1/6 for the next 1d4 hours.

5-6: Traumatic injury. You're conscious, and currently Dying*. Once stabilized, one of your Attributes (determined randomly or by the referee) is reduced by 1d6, recovering 1 point every Long Rest. All associated Skills and Saves are 1/6 until your Attribute has recovered. All casting is risky casting for the next 1d4 hours.

7-8: Permanent damage. You're conscious, and currently Dying. Part of your body is beyond repair. Hand, eye, ears, mouth, genitals, whatever makes sense.  One of your Attributes is permanently reduced by 1d6. All associated Skills and Saves are now 1/6. All casting is risky casting for the next 1d4 days.

9-10: Dismemberment. Parts are not where they should be. You are Dying. Your intestines are out, your forearm is across the room, your leg is incinerated, your jaw is missing. Make a Fortitude Save or lose consciousness. Two of your Attributes. are permanently reduced by 1d6. All associated Skills and Saves are now 1/6. All casting is risky casting for the next 1d4 weeks.

11-12: Dead Man Walking. You're not coming back from this. No amount Medicine or Magical intervention short of a wish is going to prevent it. You're unconscious, but regain consciousness on your next turn with the awareness that your fate is sealed. The adrenaline pumping through your body will allow you to act without being stabilized. You will die in 2d3 rounds. Make them count.

13+: Instant Death.

*When you are Dying, your comrades still have an opportunity to save you. You can be stabilized and brought back to 1hp through a successful Medicine check or by proper healing Magicks. If neither of these conditions are met, you will die in 2d3 rounds.


Let me know if you steal these for your games and what you think
Cheers friends, and happy gaming :)

Thursday, October 4, 2018


Hello future friends

I'm Slantio, I'm a level 25 intra-dimensional gay sorcerer and I've finally gotten around to making this blog thing???

I'm not certain what this blog will look like in the future, but HOPEFULLY I'll get to posting some *Real Gamable Content* soon.


I started with the Dungeons and Dragons Basic Game back in 2004 with my dad and my younger brother and have been pretty much hooked since.

My first ~real~ campaign was in 2011 and I quickly picked up the DM mantle for my younger brother and our mutual friends.

Around 2013 I got in to Apocalypse World and various Story Games. Had a good BULLDOGS! campaign using the FATE engine and a handful of short pbta campaigns.

After traveling abroad for a bit, I found my way in to the OSR sphere around summer 2017 and haven't turned back since!

I'm lucky enough to have 3 weekly IRL games right now. I'm a player in a 5e game in my buddy's homebrew desert setting and running TWO lotfp campaigns!!!

-Barren Landscapes
-Drag Makeup
-Cosmic Horror
-Urban Decay
-Communist Propaganda
-Petting other people's cats
-Singing Karaoke to an empty room at Bob's Java Jive
-Psychadelic Space Opera
-The history of War and Capital
-Elves n' shit

I've been using this for my LOTFP campaigns, statted out as such
Borrowed HEAVILY from

I'm new to this blogging thing so maybe I'll attach a HQ pdf if it's necessary!


HOpefully there will be more tables, more weird magic items, more npcs, more campaign pitches, and general OSR fuckerty to come!!!


Computer Interface for a Freight Elevator

This is a puzzle that I used in one of my Mothership games and I thought some other Wardens might find it useful. The computer terminal is p...